From Chen Wei Vvy

A squirrel is chillin' in a tree when a cow climbs up and sits next to him.
"Whatcha doin' here?" asks the squirrel.
"I'm here to eat some apples."
"But this is a pine tree!"
"I know. I brought my own apples."
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A bird is crying on the tree, a lot of animal try to make the bird smile but it dont. Suddenly, a squirrel pass by. The squirrel climb up the trees and make the bird smile. How did the squirrel do that?
A: force the bird to smile while taking a photo.
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A stupid guy dies and goes to Heaven.
The gatekeeper of Heaven says, "Heaven is getting too full, so you have to pass this quiz to get in. First question: which two days of the week begin with T?"
The guy replies, "That's easy. Today and tomorrow."

The gatekeeper says, "OK, I'll give it to you. Second question: how many seconds are in a year?"

The stupid guy says, "Twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd... ."

The gatekeeper says, "OK, OK, I'll give it to you. Last question: what is God's first name?"

The stupid guy replies, "Howard do I know!

The gatekeeper asks, "How on earth did you get Howard?"

The guy says, "you just say what I say! How on earth (Howard) do I know?

The gatekeeper say, hmm.... good you know the name. Ok I let you in.

The guy is confussed, ?, What do you mean?

The gatekeeper, you dont know when you are on earth but now you are in heaven.

The guy go in and fainted.